omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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