Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
