MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize