He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He better not be in your backpack
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Terrible idea I love it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
