DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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