im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
