Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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