it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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