he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
