I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
