at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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