with your own penis?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
