butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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