Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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