how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
