Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
