u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
