I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
