kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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