I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize