would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
