im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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