girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
