Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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