Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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