We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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