where am i from again
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
