You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
