you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
