Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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