You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
