im about as happy as oj after his trial
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
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screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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