I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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