i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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