I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize