...so i touched it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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