When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Let's paint friendship bongs
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
