Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize