So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
