i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
