That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
