I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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