his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
