I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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