I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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