ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
