she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
