I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
