Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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