I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
