Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
