what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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