I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
