but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
