just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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