so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
