The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
