We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
