Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize