oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize