I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
