She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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