just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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