so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
